Some More Nuts and Bolts of Grammar
I’ve decided to take grammar Nazism to an extreme this week by teaching how to subjugate verbs in all six tenses. I know how much panic this statement can cause, from hair-pulling to all-out screaming. But I’m here to show you that, once you take it on, hardcore grammar isn’t as bad as it seems. Most dreads aren’t when faced.
Being a horror author, I’m going to use “hack,” an extreme verb, as in “hack and slash.” Let’s go!
Present tense: “I hack people up.” This shows the act happening regularly or permanently.
Past tense: “I hacked people up.” Shows I already did it.
Future tense: “I will hack people up.” Something that hasn’t happened. Yet.
Perfect tense: “I have hacked people up.” Did it not too long ago or at a certain time in the past.
Past perfect tense: “I had hacked people up.” Came right before another act.
Future perfect tense: “By tomorrow, I will have hacked up my girlfriend and her lover.” Acts that will come before other future acts.
That’s pretty much it, something you can do with any verb, especially if you’re a writer and need to know your grammar and syntax, or as an exercise in self-torture. Either way, it’s bound to be satisfying! Let’s see if you can guess how to subjugate “slash” in all six tenses. Come on, you can do it! I’ll even give you the first one.
Present tense: “I slash people.”
Past tense: ___________ Remember, it shows you already did it.
Future tense: _________ Remember, it’s something that hasn’t happened yet.
Perfect tense: _________ Remember, you did it not too long ago or at a certain time in the past.
Past perfect tense: __________ Remember, it came right before another act.
Future perfect tense: __________ Remember, acts that will come before other future acts.
Did you ace it? Good for you! Not sure? Here are the answers. I practically gave them to you:
- I slash people.
- I slashed people.
- I will slash people.
- I have slashed people.
- I had slashed people.
- By tomorrow, I will have slashed my girlfriend and her lover.
Oh, you’re right. This is cruel. I’m a sadist as well as a grammar Nazi, I admit it.